On the hotel terrace street side i was quietly sipping my beer, smoking a sigaret and minding my business.

In the corner of my eyes somebody is passing carrying a H&M bag. Seconds later i hear” Can I join you”?

I look up and see this friendly Middle Eastern gentleman dressed in jeans white sneakers and black tshirt giving me a nudge and sitting himself down at the opposite side of the smokers table where i was sitting. He lit a sigarette took a deep draw and asked where are you from? From Holland and you? from Egypt he said.

Quickly the conversation went to what we did , where we now lived, where we had travelled to deep inter human conversations about loss, relationships, therapy, divorce you name it. Mind you we didnt even asked for our names. It was like we both either did this often our we felt right at home with each other. Probably both.

At first I could’nt believe my ears because i wasn’t the one doing the talking and normally as y’all well know i cant stop my blabber mouth 😅😂 so y’all can understand my suprise.

The man was so open, told me about his life in Jakarta where he lived for 5 years, in Dubai where a job took him next and his rise and fall in the corporate world which followed there after. Talked about his painful divorce after his first marriage, the brake up after his next relationship. He even admitted to fysical trauma on both parts after the latter.
He even tried to understand where they were coming from-even when it resulted in disrespect and accusations of being weak as a men from his partners.

Misdiagnosed by his first therapist and now finally enjoying a Arabic therapist who is culturaly compatible and understands where he is coming from while his first Indonesian therapist misdiagnosed him because she used her indonisean religieus cultural references on him without seeing his. Therapist i thought; so human while acting they understand.

I was just flabbergasted of everything he was telling me because i saw the same mistakes in our system. Where therapists often say that cultural and religious relevance matter but even as they say they do their actions show a different matter. I know since i suffered this first hand.

I saw a complete human who was kind, open, intelligent, faithful, respectful, religious but suffering with self just as most of us do whilst trying to be a better man, a better version of himself by doing research and going in to therapy.
What else could he do i thought.

One of the traps we often fall into especially the needy and we are is that we all have the need for love and the need to be seen. We humans need connection and touch for mere survival.

So we often try and fix our partners thinking with understanding the agony we feel will go away. Never realising that it is the self, the me, who am i who needs to be recognized not fixed.
lets be honest here; the honeymoon fase never lasts it is exactly why we call it a face.

It is not very often i come across people who are prepared to do the work. Not often i meet people so open and funerable at first conversation.
So you can imagine i was all ears.

Since losing his job in Dubai he told me he decided to move back to Jakarta. Most of his friends lived here and he could travel between Bali and Jakarta since the chance of meeting like minded international people were greater over there. And the cheap living standards in this part of the world are very inciting because they will give your wallet an extra stretch.

For him there was no going back to Egypt. Not that he did’nt love being in his country or with family but just because he rather kept a loving distance; a trait we had in common. Family as we know have a tendency for the traditional and therefore hold you back if you are not the traditional type. Travelling is no good for the traditional. It forces you to rethink everything you know. Another thing we had in common. So life in Jakarta as boring as he said it could be……….thats a first for me, he rather lives here.

He started telling me about the racist encounters he had here. Arabs he said, Blacks and the other unknown; i dont know what your ideas are on the matter but according to me on many occasions i had rather strange feelings how people observed me especially when with white colleagues. Often he said going somewhere they could walk straight in and he had to go true security. This i recognize in a lot of Asian countries.
He said and i quote “Jules can you imagine that they are still in love with the former white colonial opressor in this part of the globe” he raised his arms in uther amazement and we both laughed. He added that in there defence things change when they get to know you or if you become a regular. So the minute they get to know you things eventually do change.

In the mean time it was 6 o’clock and i was hungry. Well lucky for me it was mutual. He asked me if i had already eaten, i did’nt so he envited me for dinner at the steakhouse next door where he had eaten before and said you need to experience this for the music and the mean steaks they serve.

Since y’all know this manboy loves to eat i gathered my things stood up and uttered a what are we waiting for? I can tell you the place did’nt disappoint.

The karaoke was loud so there was no talking but what an atmosphere and what a great singers. Oh Yes they could! The Indonesians love their karaoke. The place an old familie oriented restaurant where people often come to celebrate their successes was full and the plates that were passing by told me to sit back and enjoy the ride.

I took the Lamb steak with vegetables he took the spaghetti bolognese with a mean steak on the side. It was mouth watering and a satisfying experience.

After our meal we enjoyed the last and best part of the show; a lady with an incredible voice and the star of the show, an older gentleman with a soft voice but a total match, blessed our ears with Indonesian and American Classics. What a team! Since i was clearly enjoying the show they asked me to join, i kindly refused knodging that i was good at my table.

At the end of the show we shared the bill. Said goodbye to the show team, expressed our hopes to meet again and walked back to the hotel and went to our seperate rooms.

Universe what a unexpected night with great conversation.
Thank you for blessing me yet again with true connecton.
Peace, Jules out!